It sounds odd doesn’t it. Living inside out.
But it is so key and it took the birth of my second child in 2016 to fully realise it.
To live inside out means to take care of your very being first. Your mind, your body, your feelings, your past, your present, your self-worth, your dreams; your very existence.
It means truly loving who you are. Not just the good bits, but also all the bits you would rather bury deep and pretend they don’t exist.
Up until 2016, I was still trying to manipulate the world around me (using various self-help techniques) without truly understanding who I was.
I wasn’t really changing anything. I was just plastering over my cracks and hoping for the best.
But that never works. Because unless you address what’s underneath the cracks, the plaster will give way to reveal new ones.
It was only when I hit rock bottom after the birth of my son, that the realisation of what I had been missing hit me full on.
I had stopped loving who I was. I actually didn’t know what it felt like to love myself and how I was supposed to do it.
Cue the arrival of help in different forms.
One was my mother who stayed with me for four months so I could get my head together.
Two was my neighbour, Caroline, who was always there when I needed a helping hand or someone to talk to.
Three was Louise Hay and her book “Heal Your Life”.
Four was Mithilesh, a spiritual healer and medium who specialises in Chakra Balancing and Aura Cleansing (see http://www.healmylife.co.uk).
They all taught me how to accept help and start loving who I truly was.
To me, finding that love for yourself means doing the following:
- Facing your past and forgiving it (as well as yourself)
- Accepting help when you need it
- Feeling all your emotions without harsh judgement
- Examining your beliefs and re-writing them
- Increasing your self-worth
- Learning how to flip your fear and doubts into something positive
- Taking care of yourself in whichever way helps you to feel good
As you understand and practise the above, you start to change on the inside.
As I changed, I became peaceful, happier, and calmer. I have also noticed that I feel (and look) younger than I did in my 20’s. I have more energy and I am much bolder than I have ever been.
I am by no means an expert in living better, nor am I advocating that I ‘know-it-all’. Because I don’t. I am still learning.
But the version of the life I am living now is a million miles away from where I was 10 years ago. It is the result of dedication, faith and a few simple changes (oh, and hiring a sleep therapist for my son so I could get more frigging sleep)!
It’s not a quick fix. Nor is it particularly easy. But if you can just take the first step of facing your past and forgiving, than that is half the battle won.
Life will still present its challenges, whether it is in the form of illness, bereavement, trauma and day-to-day difficulties. But how you deal, rise and learn from it is key, not the actual challenge/event itself.
As soon as you learn to take the power out of an event that has rocked you in some way, you take back power to really change your world.
Next week I will be exploring forgiveness and the simple techniques that have really worked for me.
I’ll leave you with a quote from Willow Soul Blog (check out the link on my Inspiration page):
It is not what happens to you that defines you. It’s what you make of it no matter what life throws at you. The most important thing is your state of being, as that is what creates your circumstances.
See you soon x